it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
