Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
