I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
