Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
it's great music for shaving your balls
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
