I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
he puts the penis in happiness.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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