we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
