dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
accomplished twins. life is a go
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
