Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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