Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
