so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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