i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
