i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
