the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
why do cheetos always look like penises
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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