put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
