Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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