So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
