If i could tip my vagina, i would.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
This can only be settled by a dance off.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
