Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
