I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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