There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
