So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
