no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
