oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He shit in the fireplace
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
