Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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