I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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