So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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