try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
