Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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