I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
