I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
