sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
