I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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