I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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