Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
