respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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