Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Still dying that you shit outside
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
