So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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