That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
if only i could text you this smell
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
