Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
