I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
