i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
