you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
