I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
