Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
from now on my penis is your penis
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
