I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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