his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
