well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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