Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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