Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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