Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
